Zaius Enslaves Thousands at GenCon

by Bill Ward on August 15, 2010

in Miscellanea, Monkey Caution

Welcome to the web home of genre writer Bill Ward! If you're a fan of Fantasy, Science Fiction, and Horror -- whether reading it, watching it, or writing it -- then you've come to the right place. Go ahead and subscribe to my RSS feed so you don't miss a thing. Go on and click it already, it won't hurt you. I swear it won't.

zaiusgenconThe mounted gorillas and their nets, the chimp doctors and their lobotomies, those bastard orangs . . . I’m sure you’ve seen it all on the news already, so there’s no sense in me going into Zaius’ side of things of what went down at GenCon. Especially before the trial.

But there is more to say about GenCon than a recounting of the ape-based horrors that made international headlines, and if you want a really comprehensive look at the gaming side of things be sure to check out Black Gate’s Andrew Zimmerman Jones’ multi-part coverage of the highs and lows of the con.

As with Origins, I was at GenCon playing pitchman and sales thrall to my friend Nathan Jerpe’s roguelike crpg, Legerdemain. We were down in entrepreneurs alley with the other indie and fledgling businesses, mostly of the board and card variety. Once again the con experience proved that it isn’t so much about how many copies you sell — though getting to that break-even point is a nice pat-on-the-back moment — but how much buzz you generate. It only takes one business card in the hands of the right person to change the entire trajectory of your product. Prowling the con floor are reps from companies small and large — and by large I mean Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and Microsoft — and they’ve got their eyes peeled for the little indie products that come out of nowhere. Talking to our fellow sellers back in 2500 lane was illuminating and inspiring, as they were all chasing that elusive dream of the creative class — trying to succeed doing that thing you love.

Bumping into like-minded people left and right has to be the best part of these conventions, whether it was chatting with the guys from Apex Magazine, or striking up a chance conversation with someone at the hotel bar that turned out to be one of our neighbors on the floor, cons like these are a great place to go and meet the other people that make up this big extended family of genre gamers, designers, writers, and readers.

Now that I’ve had my soup and salad at Origins and GenCon, the main course itself looms on the horizon for next month — Dragoncon. I’ll be there with Black Gate, Rogue Blades Entertainment, and Ricasso Press (and Dr. Zaius!!!), so if any of you within blogshot are planning on going be sure to find us in the exhibitor’s hall at the Marriott and check out the latest releases from this superstar triumvirate of publishers. I’ll even sign the books if you like — and when I say that, understand that it doesn’t necessarily have to be my signature.

I’ll sign any name you like, and lie about it after. Zaius has taught me well on that front.

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Off to Gencon

by Bill Ward on August 4, 2010

in Miscellanea

In this world there are two kinds of people, those off to Gencon in search of Arch Stanton, and those who dig.threegbuYou dig?

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Some Recent Print Appearances

by Bill Ward on July 12, 2010

in Promo, Zines

named-in-blood-wipA gang steals a dangerous designer drug in a bid to control the streets of New Old Philly, a demonically-possessed warrior battles hellspawn in a post-cataclysmic world, and a victim of the inevitable zombie apocalypse writes a final letter to his ex-wife. Seems the gods of genre have blessed me with a perfect trifecta of science fiction, fantasy, and horror appearances in the last few months — and so I must do their dark bidding and spread the word through the interwebs.

First up is the UK’s Murky Depths, a richly illustrated quarterly with an edgy and contemporary aesthetic. Murky Depths lucky number thirteen just rolled off the presses, containing my cyberpunkish piece ‘Named in Blood,’ awesomely illustrated by Paul Drummond. This is another story where I have fun with first person voice, and play around with some near future slang. Marks my third appearance in Murky Depths, and you can read about the others here and here.

That re-jigged disposey deck I had back in the days we were on the rise was long replaced by a sweet interlaced Kuztom Sliik that had me data-jacked in style, and I had ’grams enough to wiggle through most gaps in the system. Now, I’m no expert, but I had long since figured out that nothing stays secret for long once it’s networked . . . and what that means is you don’t have to be the guy that can beat the source security to get your peek, you just have to be the one that can beat the guy who did. Usually that’s some Mad Hack running the Shit Impenetrable, and you might as well try to sneak a peek at God’s balls as to get through their codes, but sometimes you get lucky enough to find premium data in the hands of those who can’t protect it. And sometimes you’ve got a backdoor.

And of course Jason Waltz’s Rogue Blade’s Entertainment keeps on rolling like the S&S juggernaut it is, having just launched a new anthology — the first in a new series — Demons: A Clash of Steel. For those of you that remember a trio of fantasy anthos from Carnifex press entitled Clash of Steel, RBE’s latest issue is a resurrection and enlargement of that line. Clash of Steel anthologies are denoted by black covers, and aim for more raw action and heroic fantasy badassery. I never appeared in any of original the Carnifex anthologies, my story for Demons, ‘By Hellish Means,’ being part of the fresh crop of pieces added to the book. It’s the story of the last days of a world overrun by the denizens of hell, where the only hope for human survival lies in the actions of a warrior-woman possessed by an ancient enemy.

demonsCOSYrisa vaulted the last step, arriving at a landing and the temple’s colonnaded entrance. She spun to confront her pursuers; blade held easily before her, limbs poised in readiness as she had been taught. The first of the shadowy beasts to lope to the top of the stair was the one she had maimed, a demon driven mad with rage. She dispatched it quickly, plunging the dwimmerblade hilt-deep into its chest and ripping outward as the thing’s body dissolved into hissing mist. The remaining three were more careful, and looked at her now with keen appraisal. No mortal could have done what she just had, and some measure of comprehension dawned on the demons. They checked their headlong, rolling charge and instead advanced in cautious unison.

She felt the stirring within her that battle always engendered, the force she could not allow to the surface, that thing to which she was wedded. She was the last of her order on this overrun world, this Hell on earth, and she had only survived because the stolen power within her was greater than that of any Bride who had ever dared tryst with the sons of Hell.

To fight Hell, Mother Superior had said, one must use hellish means.

The shadeforms tore heavy paving stones from the stair and flung them at Yrisa, before clattering up the escarpment in a unified assault. The dwimmerblade blurred before her in defense, gonging a rich bass note with each deflected rock, and Yrisa sang her own song, sweet and high, a song of ritual battles and warrior-women, of sacrifice and of death. The demons closed upon her –

– and were blown back into the stuff of smoke and night with three swift strokes of the enchanted weapon.

Alone, atop the temple steps, with the tomb-hush of night settled upon the lands and the last knife-edge of red in the west to illuminate the world, Yrisa looked out over the dead city of Arghoz Lok that sprawled ruinously beneath her and wept.

To round things up with a bit of horror is a flash fiction story in the form of a letter in the Letters From the Dead anthology from The Library of the Living Dead Press. Edited by Mark M. Johnson, Letters From the Dead picks up on the notion of all those letters to loved ones, journal entries, missed meetings, and final goodbyes that form the epistolary detritus of a world being rapidly devoured by the living dead, and celebrates it with a collection of just that sort of thing. My own story (”document number twenty”) is about a bitter man who finds a second lease on life in the midst of the chaos — and a new talent for violence — but the old ghost of his failed marriage continues to warp his thoughts even as the end of the world, in the form of an undead horde, liberated him from his former self.

It was as if my whole life had led up to this moment. Dad and all his hunting trips and visits to the firing range, me in tow. My love of history, King Arthur, the Crusades, and World War II, remember? “We know who won,” you said, “why sit and read endlessly about a war fifty years done?” The weight lifting you said made me look like an oaf, the running, and even the landscaping job I took after the divorce. And those horrible movies, of course, my favorites. “People coming back from the dead is a stupid idea.” You said that and I remember.

zombie shotgunHow could anyone have known?

I am a new man. I have saved lives, meted out justice, done things you could never imagine. The rules are different — the world is different. If you could have seen me, a modern-day Grail Knight armed with Mossberg and Sig and chrome-plated hatchet. I did all of it for you, carved a path sixty miles to your doorstep, to the home we once shared.

And you were not here.

Now, given that one day apes will rule over us and hunt us for sport, I think the best course of action would be for everyone out there within blogshot to buy a copy of each of these sterling publications so that we can enjoy them while we have the wit and skill to do so. The gorillas and their nets are just around the corner, and there’s just no betting on a Cornelius or Zira to save our asses. So read, drink and be merry for tomorrow an orangutan just might be lobotomizing you to better accord with his notions of science and religion. Just saying.

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thegreatzaiusNothing like a convention to get the juices flowing; the mad rush of people from the far corners of the earth, the bazaar-style hawking of niche products of every conceivable stripe, the crinkle-swish of mysterious ladies strutting their stuff in latex catsuits, and, of course, the tangy aroma of unchecked body odor commingling and recombining like some pre-sentient alien gas colony . . . well, no one said life on the road was all roses and ice cream, but then such adventures aren’t for the faint of heart or sensitive of nose.

So, the intrepid Dr. Zaius and I have just returned from a week-long stint at Origins in Columbus, Ohio in support of my pal Nathan Jerpe’s computer RPG Legerdemain. This was our second experience as fledgling merchant princes and sales droids, the first being Dragoncon ‘08 (at which my loyalties were divided between two endeavors of equal rogueocity, Nathan’s Roguelikefiction and Jason Waltz’s Rogue Blades Entertainment), and it was a blast as well as being a tremendous success for the company both in terms of sales and getting the word out. In the realm of pure enjoyment, the con reinforced for me the notion that there is something about the metagame of actually selling and promoting a product in such an environment that makes the experience every bit as enjoyable for many of us exhibitors as I’m sure the playing of the myriad of visually impressive and craftily ingenuous games that dominated the space at Origins is for the attendees. Alas, eight hours a day of selling and talking seems to impair the higher brain functions, so that the majority of our off hours had to be spent under the restorative influence of beer — a palliative finely represented by the local brews of the area. Kudos Columbus, you rock.

There was a time in my greener days when I would have contemplated doing a con report complete with pictures and write-ups, etc. But let’s be honest, the press card never won Clark Kent any respect, and I’ve always looked a bit dorky in blue and red, so the middle path seemed best: infiltrate the proceedings, soak up the information, and then come back here to regurgitate in the careless and casual fashion that is the lingua franca of the internet. In sorting through the riot of images and impressions (and disregarding the rather dull recollection of fourteen hours of highway blacktop smoothing past) I have to conclude it’s the people Nathan and I met that made the con the great experience it was, from the uber-capable guys at Longbow who are putting out one of the best historical strategy computer games I’ve ever played, and our fun-to-be-around and upbeat neighbors in the exhibitor’s hall, a great crew out in support of the CCG The Spoils, to the suave instigators of Geek Chic who hold top honors for most put-together presentation (and coolest outfits), to our new friends from Vectorform and the great state of Michigan (!) who demoed the very next-generational game playing capabilities of the Microsoft Surface to a hungry audience . . . as well as managing to laugh at all (or most) of my jokes. And, of course, the 100s of folks that were interested in talking about old school computer RPGs with Nathan and I with the sort of enthusiasm that brings back heady recollections of the days of the SSI gold boxes and games like Ultima and Wizardry, and who really grooved to what Nathan has created with his game.

To all of them Dr. Zaius and I extended a heartfelt ‘nice to have met you’ . . . although the good doctor would also like to add that he fears and despises you all and would like nothing more than to give you a lobotomy or perhaps incorporate you into a taxidermical exhibit. Road trips tend to make him cranky like that, especially after a couple of Red Bulls, so don’t take it personally.

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Silent Running

June 2, 2010

Well, it has indeed been silent around here of late, as regular readers will have noted. I’m not dead, nor have I run away to pursue my dreams of carny life, but I have stepped back from blogging — for a while at least. I found that it fragmented my attention too much at a [...]

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Bone Song (review)

April 19, 2010

An explosion behind Donal blew the steel doors open. The percussive pressure hammered Donal through the opening, back into the chamber where the mages stood.
He fell atop dead children.
In the doorway, a pale figure stood with a heavy hexzooka over one shoulder. Beyond, revealed in the great atrium, a riderless bone motorcycle was harrying prey, [...]

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Best. Ending. Ever.

April 14, 2010

Because it is impossible to have too much Buckaroo Banzai in your life, I give to you the best ending credit sequence of all time:

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How to Survive a 35,000 Foot Fall

April 12, 2010

Terminal velocity got you down? Hypoxia making you blue? Does that three minutes it takes to plunge six miles back to Earth feel like an eternity? Then you’ll be glad you read Dan Koeppel’s article at Popular Mechanics called “How to Fall 35,000 Feet — And Survive.”
Amazingly enough, people have survived such drops from aircraft, [...]

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