You know all those action movies you find yourself mentally justifying as just a bit of dumb fun? John Carter of Mars is a film you don’t have to apologize for, one that doesn’t treat the audience like a bunch of stroke victims, one that isn’t about demonstrating how much smarter than you some jaded producer thinks he is through ironical send ups and oh-so-knowing winks at whatever drek passes for pop culture hipness these days. It’s fun in the uplifting, genuine, sincere way that classic films like Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars were fun.
I rarely go to the movies, it’s seldom worth the hassle. John Carter of Mars was worth the hassle. Hell, I’m going to go see it again. It’s an event film, it’s the antidote to all the design-by-committee incoherent action movies that come out of Hollywood these days. If the brainless animatronic puppets that ran Disney’s marketing department were even half as convincingly human as the ones in Disney’s theme parks, maybe they wouldn’t have mis-marketed and betrayed this movie to the extent that they have, to the extent that everyone who sees the previews thinks John Carter of Mars must be some unholy hybrid of Avatar and The Phantom Menace.
Here are the trailers it should have had, courtesy of the John Carter Files:
If you like the kind of fiction and movies I talk about on this site, you owe it to yourself to go see this movie.