“It was pretty much our usual plan,” I said. “We just went in there and beat the hell of of ‘em, tossed a dog out a window, shot one of ‘em in the leg, and messed up the paneling. It got a little wilder than we thought . . . .”
- Title: Vanilla Ride
- Author: Joe R. Lansdale
- Genre: Thriller/Crime
- Year: 2009
If there is one time when I am really tempted to use profanity in a review, it’s when I’m talking about the work of Joe R. Lansdale. A poet of the vulgar and connoisseur of the curse word himself, Lansdale often interjects his punchy narratives with profanity ranging from the honest to the extraordinary, from the country porch world of down-home plainness all the way up to rococo heights of near-absurdity. Then, too, when I want to describe just how good a writer he is, and how much I love his stories, a few strategically placed shock words in front of bland superlatives like ‘excellent,’ ‘unrivaled,’ and ‘satisfying’ might go a long way in helping to convey my opinion of his work.
And all of that goes triple for Lansdale’s Hap and Leonard series of novels. Vanilla Ride is the seventh installment in the (mis)adventures of these oddball tough guys; Hap Collins, a straight white guy who votes democrat and can “shoot the balls of a dog tick” but doesn’t really like guns, and Leonard Pine, a conservative, gay, black ‘Nam vet who can kick anyone’s ass — and rarely misses an opportunity to do so. Together they move through a weird world of extraordinary characters and extreme violence, of killers, miscreants, and dead-enders. Closer than brothers, these smart-mouthed, blue-color, small-town guys have a propensity for landing in the midst of big, big trouble — but always coming out on top.
With such a long wait between the last Hap and Leonard outing, 2001′s Captains Outrageous, and this one, some fans of the series were wondering if the spark of these characters would still be there. I’m happy to say not only is the spark present in Vanilla Ride, but it’s of sufficient intensity to catch the drapes on fire, turn your mobile home into a big ball of fire, and burn down the whole trailer park if you aren’t careful. Lansdale has Hap’s narrative voice down perfectly, and his dynamic duo are more or less exactly as we left them. So too are the returning supporting cast, Brett, Hap’s luscious and ballsy girl, the ex-cop Marvin, and hardcase bounty hunter Jim Bob.
Vanilla Ride throws Hap and Leonard headlong into action, and doesn’t let up until the bruises and bullet wounds pile on and the body count clicks up well into the double digits. In doing a favor for Marvin — grabbing his granddaughter back out of the scum-pit she’s living in with a drug dealer boyfriend — Hap and Leonard put themselves in the cross-hairs of the ‘Dixie Mafia,’ a homegrown Texas syndicate of dealers, thieves, and killers. In thwarting an attempt on their lives, the two end up in the thrall of none other than the FBI, and undertake a mission to bring back a runaway and some stolen cash. More thugs and hitmen cross their path — including the aptly named Big Guy — but it is a certain cold-hearted blond freelance assassin named Vanilla Ride that proves to be their toughest opponent . . . .
A Hap and Leonard novel is a hurricane of brawls, gunplay, bad language, black humor, and testosterone cut with a healthy dose of irony and a flair for the unexpected that make Lansdale not only compulsively readable, but revered for his narrative prowess. Like any Hap and Leonard novel, it can be read without prior exposure to earlier books with no fear of really spoiling anything. Above all, Lansdale’s endearing characters, headlong action, and wild imagination make his Hap and Leonard stories just about the most fun you can have between book covers, and Vanilla Ride proves that Lansdale’s two best loved characters still have a hell of a lot of fight left in them.
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Just loved this adventure- my first Hap & Leonard. And was also pretty impressed by that great Chip Kidd cover!
Glad you liked it, Ed — I can promise you you have a lot of great Hap and Leonard stuff left to read, as these books never disappoint.
Thanks for stopping by.
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